How To Be More Grateful

By Warren Wong

I am grateful to wake up in a comfortable bed, with a roof over my head and coffee readily available. I am grateful for my loving family. I am grateful that I wasn’t born in a war stricken country. I am grateful I have all 4 limbs.

Not too long ago, I was unhappy. Even though I shouldn’t have been. I had a good career, my health, my family and I was living in Southern California.

Yet, there was something missing. That something turned out to be gratitude. Let me explain.

thank you red neon sign

Does money make you more grateful?

According to the Global Rich List, if you make $32,400 a year then you are in the world’s top 1%.

However, if you want to be in the top 1% of wage earners in the United States you would need to make $421,926, according to a 2018 report by Economic Policy Institute.

So what does this mean? It means that pretty much everyone you know are in the top 1% of wage earners in the world.

Except for the young broke college student living on Ramen noodles and canned beans. Even then, they more than likely have a dormitory to sleep in at the end of a school day and food readily available at the cafeteria.

Most if not all of us are pretty well off, but how come the national suicide rates have increased 24% between 1999 to 2014? Adult obesity rates affected about 39.8% of all adults in 2015 to 2016.

Suicide rates graph from CDC — Source: CDC.gov

If so many of us are in the world’s top 1% of wage earners, shouldn’t we all be grateful and happy campers? Research shows that just isn’t the case.

Underlying problems

There are a lot of underlying problems that aren’t addressed. While we are making more money, we are also spending more.

How many of you know a friend or colleague that increased their spending habits along side with their increased salary?

Since they got a promotion, they decided they need a Louis Vuitton purse or a new Mercedes S Class or pat on the back with a new 60 inch High Definition TV.

Can’t we just be grateful we even own a car? Women and children in developing countries walk on average 3.7 miles just to fetch water. Talk about a work out.

Here are 5 ways how you can be more grateful:

1. Consumer culture

Sadly, consumerism is pervasive in our culture. Keeping up with the Joneses, was a comic strip created by Arthur R. “Pop” Momand in 1913. The strip portrays a family that is struggling to “keep up” with their neighbors the Joneses, whom are often spoken of, but never shown.

Popular belief that more is better, has plagued us with an unhealthy way of life. In order to attain a bigger house, a nicer car and newer gadgets we have to work harder and longer hours.

All of these wants are holding us back from attaining true happiness. Experts say happiness in correlation to increase in wealth peaks at about $75,000. Anything more has very minimal effect on us.

Spending our youth and best years slaving away to keep up with the Joneses will lead down a dangerous road, always chasing the next promotion in a not so fulfilling job in order to pay for things to impress people you don’t particularly like.

2. Low information diet

A few ways that I’ve found helpful in combating the desire for consuming and wanting more is by intentionally avoiding the news.

In the internet age we are constantly bombarded with click bait, sensational news and dramatic political correspondence.

Harvard University professor of psychology Steven Pinker, during his interview with NPR said, “they have hit on a formula for guaranteeing news coverage and guaranteeing the attention of the world. I actually think that is a pathology of journalism that because it is so driven by events that happen in a discrete moment in time, it often ignores long-standing trends that transform the world that you may not notice on a day-to-day basis. It also creates an opportunity for violence entrepreneurs who can game the system by making a presence on the world stage knowing that it is the sudden, dramatic, violent events that make it on page one or get the most clicks.”

The research shows over and over again that in this day and age, violence has gone down dramatically compared to our ancestors, but that is not what the news portrays.

In an effort to bait more clicks and views it is designed to pull at our heartstrings and throw us for an emotional roller-coaster.

I don’t watch the news or rather I limit it to as little as possible. You’re probably thinking that I live under a rock. No, I’m no hermit, at least not yet. If there is ever any news of importance, my friends and family will be the first to tell me. If they tell me great, I get the quick run down. If not, great, it wasn’t important.

The last time I watched the news, it was still filled with sensationalist news and political drama.

There were news of the school shootings and the burning of the Cathedral of Notre Dame. Yes, those are disturbing events, but how does consuming that information bring any value into my life? Maybe then I can gossip about it with more credibility at work.

3. Why I don’t watch the news

Any news that is consumed that doesn’t bring any value or you can’t directly affect is quite frankly, useless.

My heart goes out to the victims of senseless crimes, but what good does watching tragic news do for me or them? It doesn’t.

All it does is make me sad and outraged, but that doesn’t mean I’m getting on the next plane to France to help put out the fire or start an initiative for better gun control laws.

I rather spend my time reading books, podcasts and documentaries. I’m a firm believer of lifelong education. I rather focus on the positives.

4. Perspective and gratitude

Frankly, we have a lot going for us. On any given day, most if not all my readers are living in a first world country. That in itself is a major win.

If we were born in let’s say, Afghanistan, the last thing on our minds would be comparing with friends who has the latest iPhone or who has the better car.

You would be worrying about getting your children safely to school in a war torn country or rebuilding your home and business ruined by bombs.

Express your gratitude

Another practice that has really helped me be more grateful and happy is by keeping a gratitude journal. I try to write in it as often as I can. I also posts pictures of little everyday things that bring me joy on my Twitter account.

Reminding ourselves everything we have going for us helps. Our natural tendency is to focus on the negatives.

We remember the presentation that we messed up on or that awkward conversation we had with our co-worker.

Rarely do we stop and think about that wonderful conversation we had with the cashier or the beautiful flowers we passed by on our afternoon walk. Positivity is key.

flower pot in oceanside california — Random flowers on a summer afternoon walk in Oceanside. No idea what they are. If you know, shoot me an e-mail.

5. Stark reminders to be grateful

Alongside my gratefulness journal is a list of stark reminders I also keep. This serves two purpose.

One is that life can always be worse and secondly, it can be A LOT worse. I will spare you the guilt trip and just list a few items on there:

More than 1.3 billion live in extreme poverty — less than $1.25 a day.
According to UNICEF, in 2015, worldwide, there were 140 million orphans.
U.S. Marines were fighting in 25 degrees below zero weather during the Korean War.

Conclusion

Gratitude is a choice. We have a lot going for us, don’t lose sight of that. I personally struggled many years finding a perfect solution to be happy.

These were some of the mantras I told myself: when I make 6 figures, find the woman of my dreams, run a successful business then I’ll be finally happy.

By doing that, you are robbing yourself of your happiness. Who knows if all your dreams and wants will come true. If that doesn’t happen does that mean that we can never be happy?

There is so much around us to be grateful for, don’t lose sight of it.

I challenge you to take 5 minutes out of your day and write down all the things you are grateful for. Then write down all the things that can make your life a whole lot worse.