10 Things I Wish I Knew At 18

1. Its OK to be different

Not all of us are the cookie cutter shaped version of what the media constantly portrays. Whether you’re of a different race, background, orientation, gender or otherwise, be happy and own it.

Growing up I had a difficult time fitting in. The harder I tried, the more it didn’t work.

People can intuitively sense that you are being “fake” or not authentic. Constantly strive to better yourself, but don’t be ashamed of who you are.

2. Your 20s do matter

Your 20 somethings are perhaps the most formative years of your life, despite what you might hear and see on the media.

I can’t even imagine how my life would have turned out if I didn’t go to college, join the Marine Corps and travel the world. It’s a time to build social identity, to learn more about yourself and to build the foundation for the rest of your life.

I know, it’s a tall order.

I highly suggest reading Dr. Meg Jay’s book, The Defining Decade: Why your Twenties Matter. This book helped me confirm a few things and reinforced my self belief.

This leads me to my next point.

3. READ, READ, READ

The nuggets of wisdom I have gained from reading are countless.  Through science fiction, I’ve been able to recapture my child like imagination. Through history and biographies I transported back in time. Through self-help books, I’ve been able to avoid common pitfalls and future regrets.

Don’t forget that knowledge not applied is useless. If you’re stuck and don’t know where to begin, check out my book recommendations here.

If you don’t have a lot of time, check out my 2 Minute Book Review section.

4. Be open minded

The world we live in is ginormous (I googled it, yes, it’s a word). There are so many types of people, cultures, cuisines, and sights.

Every time I go travel I get to discover something new, whether it’s having borsch, riding an elephant or chatting with a Maltese local.

Through these experiences, I’ve gained a new perspective on life and the lives of others.

In the past 3 years I got to learn so much about myself while I was abroad. I met doctors, lawyers, oil riggers, ex-government officials, and self-starters.

Their stories have broadened my mind and inspired me to no end. You never know what’s on the other side if you don’t keep an open mind. Be curious, stay humble.

5. Invest early

I’ll keep beating the dead horse (figuratively). Invest now, save for the future.

Even if its 5% of your paycheck every month, the effects of compound interest and your 65 year old self will thank you later.

I started when I started making my money at 23. I wish I was able to start at 18. Just 5 years missed is a big difference.

There are plenty of resources and options out there. Always do your homework and take calculated risk, but whatever you do, you have to begin.

6. Stop caring what others think

Growing up, my parents wanted the best for my brother and I. They immigrated to America so that we could have a better life. They wanted us to get good grades, a stable job, preferably doctor or lawyer, and start a family.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting that, but I want to do it on my own terms.

A lot of times we feel pressure from friends, family, and society to live out roles that are defined by other’s experience and not our own. I say, baloney.

Reach deep down and figure out what you really want in life. No one can do that for you. I wish I knew this a lot sooner. 

7. The ones that matter will stick around

Elementary school came and went, then high school, college, and now another chapter is ending. I’ve met a lot of people over the years.

Friends, close buddies, acquaintances, co-workers, the list goes on. Many of them I don’t keep in touch with anymore, some I keep tabs on through social media and some I make an effort to keep up with.

Those who matter will stick around, through thick and thin.

They may not be right next to you anymore, they may in thousands of miles from you, but somehow, someway they will stay in touch.

8. Think big, don’t settle

Wherever you’re at in life, don’t settle into the humdrum, always be hungry, looking for the next opportunity.

Sometimes I just wake up and think, is this it? I’m on this perpetual quest to find my meaning in life.

If I can just wake up and have this incredible urge to get to work everyday, then my life is made.

The other day, I was listening to a podcast, and the theme was, Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. Barring laws of nature, physics, etc, anything that you wish to achieve, can be to a certain degree. It will require time and sacrifice.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, it was done, brick by brick, hour by hour, year by year. It can be done, it just takes the first brick.

9. Reverse engineer happiness

Reverse engineering is taking apart a thing or idea to see how it works and reproduce it. Can we reverse engineer happiness?

Through research, books, and many late night conversations, it seems like there are some immutable commonalities for happiness.

There’s talk of fulfilling careers, giving back, and the importance of relationships. Those that are on their deathbeds don’t wish to earn more money, or own fancy purses and cars.

They wish they spent more time with their children, their parents, pursued a fulfilling career , and left a positive impact on their community.

If the answers are all out there, why don’t we start young rather than old? The other day it dawned on me that my parents are getting older.

In the back of my mind, I knew, but didn’t want to visit that reality. I quickly phoned my mom that day.

10. Life does get better

When I was 18, I thought it was going to be all downhill from there. I worried about college. I worried that I wouldn’t make any friends. Since my teenage years were coming to an end, I would cease to be happy. I know, a bit dramatic.

Then college came. Some of my fears were realized and some never came to fruition. I learned a ton about myself and developed more confidence.

Then my college days were coming to an end. However, this time I wasn’t scared. I was relieved, in fact, excited. I was ready to take on the next challenge.

Even though I was scared and worried that others would judge me for taking a non-traditional route.

I found myself in Quantico, Virginia during the dead of winter and there I earned the title of United States Marine. In my experience, life can be very unexpected, with lots of twists, turns, and bumps on the road, but as your gain your footing, learn a few tricks along the way, it gets easier.

It doesn’t hurt to have a few ardent supporters along the way either.

Conclusion

As you grow older, you start figuring out what is important and what isn’t. You can see through the B.S. and say no more easily. 

You give up on the mainstream, and start being truly you. Confident in your own skin, and know that you don’t have all the answers, but confident that you will figure it out.

So remember to always be open minded, and that life does get better.

Question for you

Is there anything that you wish you knew when you were younger?