The Modern Man: What Does it Mean to Be a Man in the 21st Century

The Protector

The male archetype changed little through the centuries. Men experience an innate responsibility of the role of protector, often thinking nothing of it. 

The protector’s role is to provide, secure shelter, and offer protection. There are no long sabertooth tigers and warring tribes at the forefront of our daily lives. The majority of us don’t have to be ready for war at a moment’s notice. Those were once real threats. They required men to assume the mantle of responsibility for the welfare and safety of their family and their tribe. 

Looking out the window we can safely assume that there are no more sabertooth tigers roaming the lands, and no threat of an enemy invasion. And so, we have freedom. Does this rid men of the role of protector? It should, but from the men I’ve talked to it is almost innate within us to take on this responsibility, for better or worse.

With additional responsibility there are layers of complexity, a constant unease. Asking ourselves, are we good enough? To start a family, contribute to our tribe, and protect the ones we love is not as simple as ‘man up’. 

So how did the men of the past take on this responsibility? 

Rites of Passage

A rite of passage is a ceremony that marks the transition from boy to man. In the old days it was going off to war, starting a family or your first hunt and kill.

Last remnants of rites of passage into manhood are still pervasive in some cultures today. But, most men have been deprived of this important undertaking.

The rite of passage is a test of courage, fortitude, skill, and endurance. And not just physical, but mental. There is an attraction to embarking on a rite of passage that symbolizes manhood. It tells a young man that he is ready. He is ready for the world and the responsibilities that come with being a man.

Rites of passage for young men are in short supply and often overlooked. They are often seen as trivial or unnecessary. Rites of passage can help young men thrive. Without guidance, mentorship, and confidence in one’s own abilities we are throwing young men out into the world to fend for themselves, often to the detriment of society. 

The Dark Side

Suicide is one of the leading cause of death for young males. Depression and anxiety is rapidly rising along with alcohol and drug dependency. 

Social media paints a different picture. Reality is different, there are no postcard perfect beaches, scantily clad women, and luxury sports cars. It’s commuting to a job you’re not exactly thrilled about, making ends meet, and struggling to figure out your love life, if there’s even one at all.

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Combined with almost mind reading ads and social media influencers eliciting feelings of inadequacy, telling you how you should live your life, and ways to buy your way to happiness doesn’t help.

The plight of our young men is the plight of our society. We must ask ourselves, how can we do better?

Male Role Models

How do you judge a man? Is it by the material possessions or the content of his character? 

The Kanyes, Beckhams, and Brad Pitts of the world have replaced the Senecas, Einsteins, and Aurelius.

To restore the modern man’s esteem, we must be careful of who we deem as a role model. What are their values? What do they stand for? And how do they treat the poor? 

Conversely, striving to better ourselves, being a positive force for good, and helping the next generation are also vital. 

A young man looks towards his father, and the men around him as an example of the man he hopes to become. If those role models are rotten, he will become the same. 

The Role of Masculinity 

Masculinity is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with men. It is not innate, but brought to bear through upbringing, those we surround ourselves with, and daily personal struggles. 

The core masculine traits of courage, leadership, and strength is a double edged sword. User beware. 

Masculinity has been responsible for some of the greatest achievements of human history. It 

has produced great nations, sent humans to the moon, and eradicated disease. However, it has also destroyed great civilizations, enslaved millions, and spread disease. 

Somewhere along the way young men have lost their way. Masculinity has always been a driving force in men’s ability to survive the toughest situations and prosper. 

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Knowing where to begin is often the hardest part. Our more masculine traits come from developing our skills, whether in our career or personal life. 

Join a sports team with other men. Find a hobby creating things such as woodworking, guitar or even coding. As you become adept, you will develop natural confidence which will spill over to your relationships and community.

Give back. If you’re in a  position to help others, do so. Find a mentorship program where you can teach boys and young men the ropes. And if you need help. Reach out. Choosing ignorance is worse than a lack of knowledge.

Do something that scares you. Part of the masculine identity is throwing caution into the wind, setting our sights on a destination, with an unclear future, and going anyways. 

Conclusion

Is masculinity the answer? Can we still call ourselves protectors, take on the mantle of responsibility, and uplift those around us? 

I believe the answer is a resounding yes. The modern man faces many battles ahead, but just as a sword is forged and strengthened in intense fire, then hammered, polished, and refined, he must be subjected to the same.