The Battle Within: A Lesson On Perspective

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. So, be kind.” — Unknown  (Click to tweet)

What can a Roman Emperor teach us?

Marcus Aurelius, emperor of Rome and practitioner of Stoicism, dealt with many people during his time. In his personal journal which later formed the notes famously known as Meditations, he wrote:

“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own–not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me.”

In translation, it means that when we expect others to be awful and obnoxious people, then we are not surprised, and when they aren’t then it is a delight. 

That is one way to look at things, and I do see the wisdom in it. However, more important is the line, “they can’t tell good from evil”. Oftentimes we run into not so nice people and we assume that they are just a “add expletive here”. But, maybe we are missing something altogether important, the battle within.

Naturally, people aren’t born ungrateful, arrogant, and “surly”. They were cute loving babies that were innocent and filled with love. What happened? 

A lesson on perspective

Perhaps looking at it from a different angle or context can help us in our everyday comings and goings. Maybe the person that is treating you harshly at work, is dealing with marital problems or an ill loved one. Maybe the irritation and annoyance wafting off your friend is a hint of frustration in a personal problem troubling her. 

What Marcus Aurelius aptly keyed in on is that humans are not very complex, we are simple. It’s just that sometimes we can’t read in between the lines. We fail to see a raging battle within complete strangers and those closest to us.

Read here: “But I have seen the beauty of good … and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own.”

“Sometimes the battle within reverses our innate disposition for good.” (Click to tweet)

This lesson on perspective provides us a framework to live our lives. But, to do that we need something called emotional intelligence. 

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.¹ It is the ability to be aware of your own emotions, then take that and apply it to everyday situations.

Think, this person who just cut me off in traffic, — you feel your anger rising — gain awareness of it, and calm yourself down. I know, it’s a tough order.

And just like anything involving self improvement, it comes with practice. Which leads me to the next point.

What can a Greek Philosopher can teach us

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus  (Click to tweet)

In other words, listen twice and much as you talk. Wise words, often unheeded. By listening more (no that doesn’t mean you try and fix other people’s problems), your act is a symbol of support. It says, “you are heard, and you are not alone”. 

That is the power of listening. A subtle difference but, an invaluable lesson on perspective.

Conclusion

We are all fighting a battle within and so are those around us. Sometimes it is hard to stand back and see that. Perhaps this common bond we share is also what makes the human experience so remarkable, but only if we listen.

Question for you

Has there been a time when you wished someone would listen to you, like really listened? Perhaps there’s someone you know that needs that too. Think on that.

I hope you enjoyed this short piece. This was a lesson on perspective, to listen twice as much as you speak, and make us just a little bit better than yesterday. 

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As always, thanks for reading!