10 Things I Learned During my Quarter-Life Crisis

1. People matter

Life is short. I’m sure we’ve all heard of that one before. Nothing new. But, something that’s grown on me over the years is the value of relationships. People.

Related post: I Have a Big Ego , why ego will destroy your relationships.

Ultimately, when all is said and done you, want to know that you’ve mattered. Loved ones and friends that you can reminisce with and share a few laughs over a beer is a perfect day to me.

2. The world isn’t fair, but it’s how you play your hand.

Life ain’t fair. Bottom line. Some of us were born into a family with successful parents and education provided to us, and some were born into abject poverty in a third world country worrying about putting dinner on the table every night. Some were raised Catholic and some were raised Muslim. Some were taught that education is the key to success and others raising a family. 

There are many things you can’t change, such as your parents, ethnicity, color of your skin, or gender.

However, there are many things that you can control, like always striving to improve in everything you do.

Whether that’s educating yourself, learning a new skill, working hard, saving and investing money, these are things you can affect.

Don’t play the victim card, work hard to change the things that you can. Someone always has it worse than you.

3. Travel more

I fell in love with travel at a young age. I remembered the time when my parents took my brother and I to China to visit our relatives. Our first time was a culture shock. As a Asian American, China was a far and distant place.

Sure, it was part of us, but America was also a big part of who we are. It wasn’t until walking through the streets of Shanghai, or climbing the Great Wall of China did I realize the important of my heritage.

As a 8 year old kid, it was a lot to take in. I’ll always an affinity with China, it’s a part of who I am.

Recently, I’ve gained a newfound love for travel while backpacking through Europe. I got to experience new foods, meet interesting people and hear crazy travel stories, and make a few of my own.

My love for travel increases every time when someone get jealous of my travels. I get a kick out of that because they can do it too, if they really wanted it.

Related post:  I Will Teach You How to Travel Cheap

But the reality is that so many of us fail to live out our dreams until it’s too late. Don’t be that guy, live out your dreams, now.

4. Stop sweating the small stuff, no one cares

A quarter-life crisis is a serious phenomenon. Anxiety, nervousness, and a lot of late nights consumed me.

While I was thinking back on my 25 years, I always thought that people were staring at or talking about me. It made me self-conscious growing up. It still has an effect on me.

I think we often have this weird notion that everyone is watching our every move, when we enter a room or we do something embarrassing.

It is known as the Spotlight Effect. And it’s untrue. Truth is, besides your mom or your significant other, 85% of people’s thoughts are about themselves. They really don’t care about you. Sorry to burst your bubble. 

Everyone is too worried about what others are thinking of them to even think about you.

How many times did you think that you made a embarrassing remark or did something stupid to realize that people didn’t actually notice or care.

And even if it did, they forgot about it an hour later.

Stop wasting time sweating the small stuff, no one actually cares.

5. Don’t get peer pressured

We all have certain phases in our lives. I had a teenage angst phase, I partied hard in college, I joined the military, and now I’m exiting the service. I don’t know what’s next.

The world is full of possibilities. That’s why I’m a firm believer in keeping your eyes open to new opportunities.

Don’t be peer pressured if you want to do something new or exciting that none of your friends have done. Be brave, try it.

Also, it’s OK to grow up. That means re-evaluating what truly matters to you. Maybe, you’re done partying at the night club until 4 AM in the morning. It’s OK, and it’s OK if your interests don’t align with your friends anymore. It may be time to move on. Embrace it, the world is full of amazing people.

6. Be vulnerable

While it only took 25 years to figure out, its better late than never. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. These words have greatly influenced the way I see the world.

Often times my younger self felt that I was all alone in the world, fighting a fight no one knew about. That no one understood me. That I had to fend for myself.

If it wasn’t for a few prodding friends and a few wistful romantic encounters that brought me out from my shell, I would always be that person.

It is truly incredible how my opening up to people brought me closer to them. I was able to connect on a more human level. Far away from the casual encounters and forced, “how are you doing?” “Fine.” It’s OK to say, “I’m not doing so good today, can we talk about it?” 

7. Get a hold of your finances

There is no time better than right now. I wish I knew what I know now back when I was 18.

Even though I didn’t have any money and was broke all throughout college, I could have cracked open a few books or watched a few YouTube videos to get a solid foundation for my future financial goals.

I recommend starting out with Graham Stephan, a personal favorite of mine.

Have a plan to how you want to live your life. Don’t end up the person that can never afford to have a nice vacation or is stuck working a dead end 9 to 5 job that you hate for the rest of your life because you don’t have a plan for financial freedom.

Related post: Why NOW is the Best Time to Invest

Money may not be the key to happiness, but it sure does relieve a lot of stress of paying bills and no worrying about splurging on a nice vacation for yourself.

8. Do What you love

I had a chat recently with a good friend and we got into a conversation on what if we aren’t content with the life we have now, even though it seems like we should. That keeps me up at night.

The consequences of not pursuing my dreams outweigh my fears. At this point in my life, I’m still exploring. I’m keeping my options open and I think that is very important. I don’t want to get stuck in one profession and realize later that I just have to stick it out because it is a sunk cost.

I firmly believe that no matter where you are on your journey you can always reinvent yourself.

Don’t be afraid, go forth and do great things.

9. Never stop learning

Knowledge is power. I don’t remember who said that, but it has really positively impacted my life. It really dawned on me during my last 2 years, that knowledge is always a great indicator of success.

Warren Buffett reads on average 500 pages a day. Buffett said, “that’s how knowledge works, it builds up like compound interest.” Almost everything that you want to learn or be better at is already tried, tested and written in some book. Go find it, read it and apply it. Here’s a short list of my favorites.

10. Hug your parents

It was actually a few weeks ago when I was watching Aziz Ansari’s Netflix special, Right Now that gave me a disparaging perspective on how short life can be.

He said, “Imagine that you visit your parents 3 times a year, and they have let’s say 20 years left. That would mean that you only have 59 more goodbyes the next time you say your goodbyes to your parents.”

Please, give your parents a good hug for me.

Conclusion

You don’t have to have it all figured out. But, you do need to get out there and learn from real people, real experiences.

I hope you’re able to learn through my quarter-life crisis.

Question for you

What is something that you wish you knew sooner?