Why Inner Peace is the Answer

By Warren Wong

The stillness that comes with inner peace. I don’t profess to be an enlightened individual. Quite the opposite. Through my coming and goings in life, whether that be horrible disasters inflicted upon me by fate or just the run of the mill grind of daily living, I have learned that inner peace is like an oasis in a desert.

Imagine what inner peace would feel like in our busy, hectic, and borderline psychotic lives? Could it be the salve to the burns inflicted by strained relationships or the crushing blow of defeat at the hands of chance? Surely, I am no expert, just another bystander in life. Though my life has been punctuated with momentary glimpses of inner peace. And oh, it was glorious.

Sometimes it’s the inner peace found in knowing that it’s going to be okay. Whether that’s at the end of a grueling 20 mile ruck march or on the heels of a 80 hour work week marathon, we can find solace in its completion. 

I’m of the belief that inner peace is not a lasting thing, but of moments. Moments that pierce our mundane lives when we seek to live presently. Not focused on the past nor the future, but the now. 

Those Pesky Feelings

The enemy of peace can be found all around us, but most frequently tied to our emotions. Those pesky feelings of inadequacy, crippling self-doubt, and our dear old friend, sadness.

We’ve all had our moments. We’re balling our eyes out after some unexpected news or flying into a fit of pure unrestrained rage from events that challenged our core beliefs. Perhaps there’s something beautiful in those moments. Like a rollercoaster, with its ups and downs, life can be similar. And in between those horrifying moments suspended in mid-air, there can be peace.

My relationship with my parents has always been peculiar. I mean who doesn’t? Maybe you’re one of the chosen few to have a perfect relationship with them. When I was growing up, especially in my teens and early 20s, the words of my parents had a powerful grip on me. On the one hand I felt like I owed them everything for their sacrifices while raising me and on the other, I wanted to desperately leave them behind and set sail on my own. To be my own person. Can you relate? 

I felt like I had to win their approval. And they were not an easy bunch to impress. They didn’t express their love with “attaboys”, but tough love and matter of fact, this is your job as a son to be successful. Needless to say, I was drowning in a whirlpool of emotions that manifested in ugly ways.

Through the years, I struggled to find my identity. Who am I? What do I stand for? What is my purpose? I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I have those thoughts run through my mind on occasion even now. But, now I am not so bothered by them. I know that deep in the recesses of my mind and heart that it’ll all be ok. Perhaps I’ve found a little inner peace through the years.

If you asked me how I’ve reached this state of mind, I couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment or event. I believe that it was a series of moments chained together over the years that allowed me to grow into the person I am comfortable with today. 

It required self-reflection, growth, and painful trial and error that culminated in a half decent semblance of a normal functioning human being. And yet, I can empathize that not all of us are so lucky.

The Real World

Outside the highlights we see in the media, most of us live boring and mundane lives. They’ve set the traps all around us. The trap of comparison. At every turn, we’re bombarded by advertisements that remind us of what we’re missing and how they can help make us whole again. It’s a bottomless pit of envy, jealousy, and other horrid feelings. 

Every time I take a peek on social media, I’m reminded of what I don’t have. I don’t have a handsome face. I don’t have as much money or fame. I don’t have the career I want. And yet, we easily forget what we do have. 

It’s such a human fallacy to covet what others have and not appreciate what we do have. Gratitude is the practice of thankfulness. Over the years I’ve incorporated this practice into daily living. It can be hard at times, when our society is founded on “more is better”, but with a little mindful practice I find so much joy.

On a walk around the neighborhood, I see beautiful flowers in mid bloom on a warm Spring day, I smile at the reckless abandon of children playing, and the love of a seasoned couple holding hands.

Yet, I realize that life isn’t perfect. Outside of ice cream, rainbows, and bouquets of flowers, is the real world. The real world can be tough. It can be cruel. And it can bring us into a pit of despair. And I wish there was a meaning behind it all. Why am I inflicted with the throes of despair, rejection, grief, and anger? Sometimes I want to curse the world, screaming expletives, asking why it’s so unfair. 

There was a time when I sought answers. A perfectly wrapped gift that could sooth my grief, my heartache, and make it all go away. I patiently waited for years. Maybe there’s someone or something that could save me, just like in the movies. But it was a fruitless endeavor that was punctuated with false hope and self-induced drunken nights masked as nights out with the boys.

The real world isn’t a slice of pie. It’s messy like my cupboard drawers hiding everything in plain sight. It’s got many kinks, unfinished plot lines, and unsolved mysteries. 

Define Your Path

Perhaps you’ve caught an inkling that I like to romanticize my life. It helps me get through the days more easily. So, here I am, the hero on a quest, that is my life. I am at a crossroads, presented with two choices. On the one hand, I can choose the path of envy, vanity, and anxiety or I can choose the path of resistance. One of struggle, hard work, and self-discovery.

If I choose the first path, I’m met with the many beasts lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to tear me down. As I’m walking on the path, I’m enticed by the allure of shiny objects, and false promises. They lead me down side quests that leave me unsatisfied, but I’m never quite able to put a finger on why that is.

On the other path, I put on my cape, my superhero boots, and strap in for a rough road ahead. I look about, and the road is littered with twisted mangled figures. Upon closer glance I see that they are me. They are the old me. They are not the current me, but a version of me. Someone or something I used to be.

As I keep along the path, I’m met with signs telling me to turn back. “Danger. Beware. Private property, trespassers will be shot.” There are mythical creatures disguised as friends and worldly delights flaunting flirtatiously. 

As I come upon the crest of a hill, I see it. As I stared into the gaze of this enchanting creature I was transfixed. Whispering into my ear false promises, and unbeknownst to me, it started pulling me back towards the road. 

It takes all of me to fight against this evil. I summon strength that I didn’t know I had in order to fight, and return it where it came. I banish it back to the shadows and run up and across the hill. 

Like an ethereal light that covers my entire body, I feel its warmth on my skin. It is all encompassing. It is full. It is glorious. I don’t have words to describe something that can only be felt. I was washed with calm. The unruly thoughts that persisted day in and day out were no longer there, fading into the background.

Conclusion

Whether we’re in the throes of battle against mythical creatures that have free reign of our mind or we’re experiencing grief from the passing of a loved one, we have a choice to make. We can feed the parts that bring out the worst in us or we can put on our capes and set out to fight. 

To be human is to struggle. But, born out of struggle is clarity. And in this process, everything else started to fade away. I was left with a feeling. A calm, soothing warmth that covered my body, acting as a shield against the coldness of the world. 

I realized that I was the hero in my own story. I was the answer I so desperately sought. I had the power to shape my fate.